Indescribable Whole

Reflections on America...

2008-11-18T06:57:00.000-08:00

Hello all. Sorry for my lack of posting. America has been a lot to take in, what with sidewalks, English, a new democratic president, the economy in a deep depression and an abundance of shopping opportunities I haven't made time to document for my internet audience.

My first reactions of America were diverse to put it diplomatically. One of the most popular songs contains a chorus of "All I wanna do if *gun shots* and *cash register* and take your money". I vaguely remember this America where violent images and songs were just apart of the culture but to completely remove myself and live in relative harmony for 2 years was quite a shock. I have a much harder time with wasting food than I ever have before, for obvious reasons. The superficiality of America has almost become an ententity in it's own right. Don't get me wrong I appreciate a new purse or nice clothes as much as the next person but I can't in good conscious spend $1,000s in pursuit of some never ending ideal. When you have held a starving child, or let your life intertwine with the poorest of poor you will be changed forever, and for that change I am forever grateful.

As for adjustment well it's as good as to be expected. I'm cold all the time. I can't remember the last time I had water because Diet Sprite at my disposal still amazes me. The thought of rice still makes me gag. I have driven a handful of times with no big incident but I'm really rusty on parking. As for employment I'll be quest services/ front desk at the new Omni in downtown Fort Worth. Which is obviously not my dream job but will pay the bills and I should be thankful for anything I can get. I haven't gotten a car yet but before I start training hopefully that will become a reality. And I'm still working on my graduate school applications. The best way I've been able to describe it is I was just born but to this adult body and mind and I have to start all over from scratch and I'm not the same girl that left.

Some funny readjustments: I didn't know how to turn my shower on! I think I've eaten my weight in fresh fruits and veggies. My first few meals were eaten with my hands, it was just easier! I had no idea who Sarah Palin was in the JFK airport, leading some random traveler to think I had been living under a rock. Little did I know she would offer up many good laughs in the weeks ahead.

Favorite Things About America:

My family & friends
The vegetable & fruits section, the plastic bags remind me of Niger
My feet staying clean
Baths!!!
Lack of transportation issues
Clean drinking water
Being healthy again
Church
A mutual understanding
President Elect Obama
Wireless Internet
Laughing with my mom (usually making fun of Texas)

Things I Miss About Niger

My family & friends there
Speaking Zarma- I was just getting good at it!
My cat Malibu
Street meat, kilshi, Majji Cubes, fried bean cakes, masa, kuli-kuli
Sunsets and stars
Hiking to the messa
The call to prayer
Feeling really clean after a bucket bath
Free time to read
The excitement of a phone call or care package
The drums & dancing
New babies everywhere
Carrying things on my head

Here I am... at the end

2008-08-25T23:46:00.000-07:00

OK so blogging may not be something I exactly excel at but yes I'm still alive and in Niger, although I will soon be on my way to great United States of America. Needless to say I'm a bit of an emotional roller coaster as my time in Niger comes to a close and I know if I tried to but it all into words it would just be one long rant. At of close-of-service conference we were given lots of questions to provoke each of us to start thinking about our service and our transition back to the states. By the way my training group started with 43 people and at the end of the 2 years we were 24, better than most!!!

1) What impressions did i get out of my group and Peace Corps from training?
Surprisingly not everyone came to bring world peace like I thought. I thought it was a good representation of how diverse America truly it. As for Peace Corps well I thought I'd come to Niger and solve all their problems... well that dream was crushed on my ride from the airport to the training site.

2) Who is my favorite person at my site? Why?
Hands down Rakia, my older sister. She is *sigh* just a joy. She was the first person I taught how to hug and we've shared many memories together. She jokes with me and teases me relentlessly. She has gotten me water when I'm sick, helped me bargain down to the real price not the white people price, she taught me how to cook and wrap my skirt. I can't imagine my time in Niger without her. As of the past month she shows up to my house right after lunch to just sit and chat, look sad and say "Are you sure you want to leave?".

3) Who was/is my favorite child?
This list is a long one. Ishatou, the daughter of one of my brothers, she was terrified of me in the beginning but after about 6 months she finally warmed up to me. We spent a year together walking to a from the pump, me teaching her zarma and her tangling my hair. One of my favorite memories was when my mom came to visit she sat on my lap and just stared at mom speechless, Later she asked her mom who the white woman was and why I wasn't afraid of her. She sadly died in this past hot season. Barkissa's, they live right next to each other and are about 14 & 7. One had epilepsy and the other is blind. Disabled children in Niger are at the bottom of the social ladder, only above disabled adults. I think I'm the first person to show this girls some real love. Lastly Ramatou, she can't walk or talk and was abandoned by her mother but now with the help of her grandmother, Mousa & Jen (RPCV from Cote D'Ivore) she can walk and communicate non-verbally. All of these girls hold a special place in my heart.

4) Who was my counterpart? What was our relationship?
Halmia, she has lots of effort and we worked closely at the malnutrition clinic together.

5) 2 years- what am I most proud of?
Learning ZARMA! That I did it when so many didn't think I would. That I'm fully integrated into my community and that I think they have a better understanding of where I come from, even if they still think Amerik is a village on the other side of Niamey.

6) Biggest challenge?
ZARMA, cultural differences and trying to stay healthy.

7) Did I overcome that challenge?
Zarma- Ay si bay ni ga hima ga hand ay kwara borey. (I don't know you should ask my villagers) but I can get by.
Cultural differences- i have learned a great deal about how the US shapes me and my world view. I understand Nigerien culture now but that doesn't mean I don't get frustrated from time to time.
Healthy- haha not at all! I'll be in the land of clean water soon enough.

8) Favorite social event with Nigerien friends?
Anything with dancing & drums.

9) Favorite place to be alone?
On top of my messa where I can see the entire valley and my village.

10) Best book read?
Well I've read 85 of them so it's hard to narrow down. But Posionwood Bible, The Irresistible Revolution, Walk in the Woods, Stop Dressing your Six-Year Old like a Skank, The End of Poverty, God's Politics, Eat, Love, Pray.... this list could go on for a while.

11) Special person that I truly affected? How?
You'll have to ask me that one.

12) Who could I not affect? Why?
The men over Niger. I don't think many men changed their opinion of the supposed "lower" status of women from me. Although I was known to get into a heated argument or 2 and simply not acknowledge sexist men I can't say that any of them actually changed from my actions.

13) How would I like my community to remember me?
As someone who worked hard on their behalf, who respected them and their culture while still maintaining my identity. That I laughed, danced, hugged and loved the home they offered me.

14) What/who would I like to forget?
A few choice peace corps volunteers. And every time I've ever been sick. Or when I hurt someone.

15) What is a normal day like?
Wake up 7-8am. Go to the pump and get water for the day. 9-12 Walking around visiting villagers. 12-4 In my hut reading waiting for the sun to lose some of it's strength. 5-7 To my dad's (chief) house to see the family and talk about our days. 8 dinner... oh the carbs. More reading until 10ish.

16) Unrealistic expectation going into PC?
That I was going to bring "World Peace" to Niger. It still makes me laugh.

17) Was I nervous about my safety?
In my village NEVER. In Niamey, yep!

18) Who in my community will I try to keep in touch with?
My chief and his whole family.

19) My community in 10 years?
I'd love to see Donou-dibi with electricity, a more secure source of clean drinking water and significantly more students passing their exams and women giving birth at the hospital.

20) Biggest change that occurred in me in 2 years?
What hasn't changed? I have lots more patience and better understanding of who I am. I'm also not as OCD plus I'm a lighter sleeper. But honestly I think it's going to take some time before I'll be able to even understand the changes in me.

21) What have I learned and don't want to forget?
The true definition of need versus want.

22) Who/what drove me to tears or drove me crazy?
Learning zarma and transportation issues.

23) Who/what bothered me in 1st 3 months and now not at all?
When everyone would call me "anasara" (white person).

24) Do I think that PC Niger has really made a difference? How?
I think the differences that have been made are a smaller scale and not necessarily x amount of women are giving birth in clinic but the relationships we form I think help Nigeriens understands themselves better as well as out culture. I think especially in this Muslim country when someone would say "we hate Americans" one of my villagers would say that they know an American that helped them and isn't the evil that often get portrayed abroad.

I am set to close-out my service on Sept 16 and will land back in the states on Sept. 18. As for now I will push into my next few weeks taking one day at a time and trying to hold onto each memory as they come.

Until America....

Still here!

2008-01-07T01:10:00.000-08:00

Hello all! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year (better late than never right!). As apart of my New Year's resolution I'm going to make a more concentrated effort to update this blog and communicate with all of you at home. But before I look towards the future lets me tell you about the happenings in the past few months since my last post.

The Directors visit was a lot of fun. It was so good to see David Liner and friend of the family and Chief of Staff at PC Washington. To have any bit of home here is always refreshing. Ramadan came and went without too much fan fare. I did try fasting until about day 7 when I passed out. Apparently farming for 3 hours without drinking anything was not good for my body. But all is well now!

One of the highlights was Dadiji which a big party celebrating the chief. It happens once for every chief sorta like a coronation but usually after they've served for several years. Well it was a party indeed. There first was a vote, one going to each household, typically cast by the eldest man. And my dad was victorious! The way it worked was the voter took two pieces of paper (orange and green) and envelope into a room. You discarded the color you didn't want; green if you thought the chief deserved to stay in his position or orange if you were unhappy with his judgements and his command of the village. Only 6 people put in orange and 4 of them came up later to apologize saying they didn't understand how to vote. After that it was just lots of dancing, eating and general mayhem. There were about 700 extra people in my village for the party as well as a Zarma king (really you can't beat that!).

Tabaski was lots of fun this year. Again there was sheep killing but that's to be expected. I ate meat and only meat for about 3 days. It was also neat to see how far I had come from last year. I had friends and family that I hung out with all day. Gift were given and everyone kept reminding me that I wouldn't be there next year for Tabaski.

But without a doubt the best part of my year came at the very end with the arrival of my mom the Niger. Yes that's right Lynn Pharr put down her blackberry from well over 10 days. I'm also happy to report that she didn't check her email. Our original plan was for her arrival on Christmas morning but her flight out of NYC was grounded so she didn't arrive until the 26 but I just held off my celebration until she arrived. And then we hit the ground running with Giraffes visits to the market and getting to my village with LOTS of luggage. She loved my village except the RAT.... and now for a story....

So it was 11:30pm New Year's Eve. I was already fast asleep and my mom wakes me.
Mom: Sarah there is something in here.
Me: ~Groggy waking up from sleep noises~
Mom: No really there is something, you need to get it
Me: Ok, fine. ~Grabs fulan stick and begin to search for 'thing'~
Me: AAAaaaaaaaHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh OH MY GOD IT'S SO BIG! (See's tail of rat and jumps onto chair)
Now I've been known to dramatize things but when I saw large I mean bigger than my cat! It's tail was so long I couldn't fit it in the frame. After repeated beating with the stick it moved further into my house.
Me: Ok we need to remain calm, It's SOOO BIG! DIE RAT! DDIIEE!!!
Mom: Kill it Sarah! Kill it!
Me: Hold on I need to take pictures. (Grabs her camera to photograph said GIGANTIC RAT while perched on her kitchen counter)
Mom: Kill it Sarah! What are you doing taking pictures? Kill it! Throw something at it.
Me: OK! RUN RAT! RUN! (Throws spices- Curry powder, McCormick mesquite, Emeril Italian Sensation!)
~Rat runs out of the hut~ And I close the door really fast
Me: Hey mom... Happy New Year!!!

And then we stayed up for 3 hours laughing. And that's how I rang in my New Year. For the rest of my mom's visit we focused on keeping the rat out. And keeping her healthy. Both were successful. She left just a few days ago and now we're counting down the days until I come home.

But that isn't too far off. My COS (Close of Service) conference is in June and I've already started looking into job possibilities in the states, mostly in DC. But as of right now I'm scheduled to be home at the end of Sept. and that is mind blowing in itself. My time in Niger has gone by incredibly fast and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon.

I'll blog when I can. Take care and have a great 2008!

New season, Busy season

2007-09-03T00:58:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't written since July but August kept me on my feet and in & out of my village a lot!

The highlight was Rachel Adam's visit. The 9 short days felt more like minutes than a little over a week. Upon her arrival I thoroughly exhausted her with more stuff the 1st day than I accomplish in a week and less than 24 hours into country we were already back in my village. I had been talking about her visit for a while so my villagers were pretty excited. We were able to see about 20 giraffes, she watched me get muddy and see what really happens to my hut during rainy season, met all my closest girl friends (PCVs), and went to a wedding (dancing was sadly canceled by rain). I'm happy to report that she escaped without getting sick... I however was not so luckily (story of my life). We met up with a friend from Camp Lurecrest, Carlos Sanchez, who in one of the craziest coincidences is also living in Niger. I loved every second of having her here. Someone to understand me for who I really am. And why bush taxis and being dirty ALL the time is a slightly bigger deal for me. Plus she had the opportunity to see the place I have fallen in love with.

She left and shortly after I had a demyster. That's when a trainee comes to stay with a PCV to see how "we" live. There is another North Carolinian (Katherine) and we actually went to the same church in Wilmington, small world. Elizabeth & she seemed to enjoy themselves and are both new members of Team Dosso.

Currently I'm back up at the training site helping out where I'm needed. And answering lots & lots of questions. For the weekend break Michelle, my other education stagemate went to a friends village, Kevin. It was gorgeous and great escape from the bush. He has a huge messa that we hiked around for a few hours and then his villagers killed 2 chickens for lunch (read:REALLY expensive). The trip was exhausting but lots of fun. Now I'm back in Nimaey for the next 2 days visiting various NGO's with the trainees, Hellen Kellar Int'l, various organizations of the UN, and some that are specific to Niger.

The 45th Anniversary of uninterrupted service in Niger will also be marked by the swear-in of this training group, Sept. 25. So lots going on here. David Liner a friend of the family and a "big-cheese" at PC Washington will be in the festivities as well as the director of Peace Corps Worldwide is coming to my village. So lots of reasons to be happy and busy. Not to mention my 23rd birthday in just 16 days (Sept 19)!!! But I must say I'll be happy when October finally gets here and I'll be able to spend some serious time in my village as well as get work done. Then just waiting it out until my mom arrives on Christmas Eve... that day can't come soon enough.

Love you all!!!

1 year ago...

2007-07-21T01:57:00.000-07:00

One year ago...
I was full of nerves to come to Niger.
I was staring at my unpacked luggage thinking at in minute it will just pack itself
I was saying yet another teary good-bye
I was standing on the beach in Nags Head wondering if I would forget what the beach was like
I was eating as much American food as possible
I was saying "It's whatever I'm going to Africa" every other minute

Now I look back on those times with a sigh of relief. I am home at least for the time being in Niger. In the fastest year of my life I have seen more, experienced more and learned more that I feel I may ever be able to convey or explain. Yet so much has happened, I'm fluent in another language, albeit zarma but still an accomplishment none the less. I've lived in the hottest a poorest country for every one of it's seasons- and lived to tell the tail. I've pulled water from a well with some of the fiercest women in the world, I've helped nurse back babies on the brink of death, and I've dance to the high heavens in my village... the simple fact that "I" have a village to call my own is a HUGE difference from July 2006.

And so now I have been selected to be a permanent PCV for the newest batch of volunteers. Basically they feel I'd be a good example to the trainees. I'll answer their endless questions, some of which will be identical to mine- the ones that we all laughed that we even asked. They'll think I'm the "cool kid" because I'm a volunteer. The same way I looked up to our volunteers with their fluent Hausa or Zarma thinking I'll never be there. And so here I am, along with 9 other people from my training group. Heading back to Hamdy (our training site) and the airport for thier arrival. A lot of us keep talking about how we feel so old, experienced, a little jaded and certainly rough around the edges.

I'm personally taking the time to reflect. Some are filling out applications for grad schools, we're all talking about out post-PC plans and they are in legitimate reach, we're all signing up for the GRE most opting for the Feb 2 date (me included). I know the second year will fly by even faster as all of the volunteers currently boarding flights back home have reassured me. But part of me still feels so unaccomplished. Like I really haven't given anything back to my community. But there are plans. Plans to bring a grain grinder to my village, a recently approved grant to paint the world map in my school, and some project with the hospital.

Most exciting of all is Rachel Adams is coming visit in 11 days- Aug 1-10. I've been slightly busy with a patch of sickness and now with preparing for the next stage but her visit is just what I need right now. I can't afford vacation so why not bring the vacation to me! She's bringing a suitcase full of American goodies so I'm thrilled to say the least.

Well I'll be in and out if Niamey until the send of September with Rachel's visit and helping out with this stage. Also the 45th Anniversary of Peace Corps Niger is at the end of September and the director of Peace Corps is scheduled to come to my village. Slightly nerve racking.

All my best,
Sarahtou Donou-dibi

Shorts, Pork and Hugging guys

2007-05-28T00:56:00.000-07:00

Well a title like that it can only mean one thing: THE REPUBLIC OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

For those of you who didn't know I made a short jammed packed appaearance on that side of the Atlantic. I was in the states May 4-26. The reason for my visit was my Grandparents 50th anniversary and my presence was a complete surprise to them. Probably my best memory is hearing my Papa in his southern accent say "Well I declare" and then Grandma "Oh my word". They are easily two of my favorite people in the entire world and I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else. Without them and their influence in my life I wouldn't be half the young woman I am today. So kudos to you.... love you both and congrats on the big 5-0!!!

Most of my time was spent with my mom and you know that can only mean trouble. We're the same old same old...picking up right where we left off. I was greeted with 2 dozen pink roses at the airport and sent away with freshly polished toes and nails. We shagged whenever my mom would finally give into my pleading. I'm sure the man that lives under us is glad that the beach music has finally stopped. We shopped until we just couldn't take it anymore...and then we shopped for Wyatt. I also had the lovely opportunity to guiniley freak out the people who work at United Way of America. They just kept staring at us both and saying "oh my gosh there is two of them". HEY Melissa & Will!

Speaking of other family I'm happy to report that Wyatt can now run, say Fofo and has a healthy love of farm animals & the outdoors. At one point in Arkansas I called Amina and was obviously speaking in zarma and he flipped out. Jumping up and down and running around the room. I guess someone finally speaks his language. If that gives you an idea of what zarma sounds like... my toddler nephew loves it! Nate as always is still beating me up and thinking he's a cowboy, sweet Jesus when will it ever stop? Uncle Rod still dreams of times when we're in the same room and I'm not hugging him... you know I'm your favorite niece!!!

And no visit home is complete without friends. While mom was on a field trip to Pittsburg with UWoA I made a short visit to Lynchburg, Charlotte and Raliegh. I mostly ran from one friend to another sometimes only spending 2 hours with them but we made it count. I was also able to give a presentation to the entire 8th grade and Tyler Finley's class in Lyncburg. The kids had good questions most notable "Do you like Africa better or America?"... I handled it like a politician and threw in a healthy dose of partial truth to my answer.

My vacation was topped off with a trip to the Outer Banks to spoil Wyatt just a little bit more. And those last few days were the only time I can recall relaxing. But it will be my only trip home during my 2 years here and I can't thank my mom enough for financing said trip.

I wish I had more to say about how the states was different but it was honestly all too much to take in. I nearly cried in the vegetable section at the grocery store. I stopped saying "I feel so clean" at about the same time I was able to sleep a full night indoors...around day 4. I ate everything on my plate because I felt guilty about throwing food away. I can say that it was nice to blend in. Nobody screamed "white girl" to get my attention but at the same time nobody would really look me in the eye on the street. I think once I have some time to mentally process my vacation I'll get back to ya.

I 'm not going to write about any exciting stories... because quite frankly there are too many. Well they may not be exciting to you. So let my express my vacation in numbers:
5...pairs of shoes purchased
4...skirts/dresses purchased
0...days I wore something past my knee caps
6...average # of times I said "Because I can" after following some action like bathing
2... hours spent with Cameron, Ashley C and Sarah Price (sorry you all got the short end of the stick)
3... minutes I would let pass before hugging whoever was in close proximity to me (IN PUBLIC)
1...estimated of number of pigs I consumed
6>lbs<10... class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">pumpkin pie and Grandma's cookin'
10...# of flights to get there/during/return
+60... hours I spent traveling in the past 3 weeks
2...# of flights missed (US Airways is off my Christmas list)
22...vacation days used
1...vacation days earned (from the presentation)
90... degrees when I landed at 2am! (this is my reality)
6... inches cut off my hair
2...new pierced ears!
2...pedicures & manicures
1...injuries sustained...broken toe (don't ask)
3...times I cried (I can barely believe it myself)
<100... class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Ipod
3...new books purchased (GRE Study Guide, Anne Lammont, 9/11 commission report)
14...months left in Niger

3...people waiting in line to use this computer *sigh*

You woke me therefore I will kill you.

2007-04-13T23:16:00.000-07:00

Hello family and friends! Life still keeps moving along at an almost too fast pace over in my little space of the globe. Heat season is all together debilitating. It's amazing a) how much one human can sweat [eeww] b) how doing in the smallest tasks like writing a letter will leave me exhausted. Other PCVs warned of this but being well me I assumed I would be above all this hot season madness. I mean hello I'm from eastern NC I know a thing or two about heat but dry heat and this much is crazy different. Ok enough complaining.

My work with the babies is coming along nicely. I convinced another woman to take her son to the local hospital and he is on his way to a "healthy" (by Nigerien standards) weight. My biggest projects will have to wait until the arrival of rainy season when I can actually function.

I had the opportunity to go to Moloud which is the celebration of Mohammed's' birthday. Kiota is like the Mecca is West Africa so for every Muslim holiday my world sorta gets invaded but especially on this holiday. My village is on the road that leads to Kiota, about 30 k (18 miles) south. So for about 3 weeks prior somewhere near 20,000 extra people from Niger, Burkina, Senegal, Ghana, Libya, Nigeria flooded the small city where Michelle (fellow stagemate) is posted as an education volunteer. So me and 10 other white folks all headed up to check it out. It was quite a site to see. Nobody goes to sleep. Everyone prays or reads the Koran through the entire night. I fell asleep to literally 1,ooo's of people chanting and beating to their chests. Thanking their god and asking him to bring them through the next year.

Ok and now for a story. So there I was in my peaceful slumber in my little "petit america" wearing shorts- my usual sleeping attire. But on this Passover morning I was being yelled at. Ok I can't really speak English when I wake up out of a deep sleep, much less french and definitely NOT zarma. So I walk over toward Amina and I keep telling her to repeat whatever she's saying cause I don't understand. Our concessions are next to each other and just a millet stalk fence separates us. So I walk towards our common fence and she gets more hysterical. The problem here is that the word for snake is really similar to the word for stomach. So she would yell "Sarah don't come snake!" and in my groggy states I would yell back "No my stomach is ok now I took medicine". I had just started meds the day before for bacteria. She then uses the word for snake in french, serpent, hoping maybe the other language would help me to realize what she was talking about. Finally as I get closer to the fence I see that in fact there is a snake coming through pretty much right at my foot. I have this light bulb in my head moment and then run. Well you know me... I'm a fan of killing things. Especially things that wake me up. So I put on a skirt and by this time my older brothers had been called. Ya know to come rescue Amina & I the poor single girls (22 and no husbands yet what ever will we do?) So Alpha asks me if I want to kill it. Really is this even a question... the other men protested saying is wasn't a girls place. But after said snake lunged at me twice I was determined to end it's life myself. And so I did at 6 am while screaming in zarma "You woke me up therefore I will kill you". My brothers got a good laugh out of all of it. Only many hours later did I find out said snake was poisonous, it's ok I'm a PCV I can do anything! News spread like wildfire and by the end of the day I was being greeted on my effort for killing the snake, and even brought food as a blessing. My dad was rather impressed and some of my friends didn't believe me until they saw pictures (photos to come soon). So there is one africa-tastic story for the books.

Without a doubt the least exciting news since my last post is the departure of Amina. She's a teacher and in Niger you get placed in villages, and you really have no say over where you do. Well for some unknown reason the director of schools in my region decided to move her with only 2 more months left in the school year. For the 2 weeks leading up to her departure me, my villagers and nearly every useful person tried to stop the move but out efforts failed at last. She took over to her new village this past Thursday. I left in the morning because I had cried a lot already and I knew her send off would be full of my villagers who don't understand nor accept when an adult cries in public. She's only 12k away but she was easily one of my closest friends in Niger. She helped me in SO many ways with language, understanding Nigerien culture, listening to my boy problems or my homesick ramblings. I will still see her but it won't be the same. With patience all things will pan out I guess.

~Kala Hanfo~Until another day~

It's starting... IT'S HERE!

2007-03-22T00:50:00.000-07:00

Well my past month has been excellent. Seems like a broken record I realize but I honestly love my life here. No cause for complaint and ever turn of the corner brings a new reason to smile.

I think I've narrowed down my focus for the rest of my time in Niger to working with malnourished babies and the disabled children in my village. I've begun work with a local NGO and a US doctor (who is a RPCV from Cote d'Ivore). Basically we do massage therapy and I go visit the mothers and help encourage them along when Moussa who works with the NGO-PRAHN) and Jennifer aren't there. Basically I just give these kids some attention. Hold their hands and walk around as they can't support their body weight.

My other project working with the malnourished kids has been rewarding and all-together difficult. I had avoided the hospital with everything in me because the first time I went there I saw a severely malnourished baby, who later died. I figured that if I worked there on a regular basis I would get depressed and et. Suddenly it dawned on me one day that I just being outright selfish. I have the knowledge to help these mothers and I should be doing all I can to help the most people I can... these 8 months have flown by I can only imagine the next year will be a blur. So I took one of my villagers and her malnourished baby to the hospital where I met Halima. I think she will be my counterpart,she's really enthusiastic about her job and she's my age. Anyways the baby I took there was Jamilla who after weight & height measurements was determined moderately malnourished (all I can say is I NEVER want to see severely malnourished). She was immediately put on a rehabilitation program and lots of medicine was literally shoved down her throat. After a long week in the hospital she bounced back and has gained so much weight! All the women in my village are convinced they too will stay in the hospital for a week with their babies when I come around to visit.

In other news International Women's Day was March 8th so me and my best friend in the village Amina celebrated. I bought the meat, since I have more money that I know what to do with, and she cooked the Nigerien dish. While I made "American food"... which was lots of veggies chopped up with a cheese-esque sauce... I call it cheesy goodness. It was a good memory and we talked all about how the women in Niger are suffering. She was taken aback when i told her I'm not going to take my husbands last name and that I would never ask for his permission to do anything. Her reply was "GOD IS BIG" basically Oh my God. The next week was her 23rd birthday and I have been talking about it for months. I wanted to give her a "American birthday". Most Nigerien's don't know their birthday much less have a big celebration so I made sure she felt special. And after her surprise party she said she just didn't have the words to express her gratitude and that she would never forget that day, and she hugged me. She initiated the hug! this never happens in Niger...oh happy day! Mind you we had a small dinner with 5/6 other women and I strung up a big poster in her concession. Oh Amina! Puts into focus how much we focus on the material and not the actual relationships.

And lastly hot season is here. All my villagers keep saying it's starting it's starting to which I reply IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE!!! Today it will get up to 108... and the highest temperatures are still nearly a month away. In case you ever want to check up on me and see just what I'm going through go to http://www.wunderground.com/global/NR.html. From about 10-5 I'm inside my hut because when the wind blows it's a lot like opening an oven... not very refreshing to say the least. I say all of this not to complain but just have a "cross cultural" exchange so you can learn about Niger.

Oh and lastly health update. The only update I have is to tell you I'm not "updating" you anymore. You are all worrying too much so just imagine me in perfect health and we'll all be able to sleep better at night. OK well you'll be sleeping and I'll be tending to my heat rash... either or.

Take care of you...

A little squash goes a long way

2007-02-20T23:21:00.000-08:00

So I live in Niger 99% muslim. Women & men hanging out most certainly isn't an option. But ya know I've got that whole white skin thing happening for me so I'm pretty much exempt from a lot of the "harsher realities" (in my opionion) of the women here. Or at least I thought.

Enter Huma, my good friend and tailor. We've hung out a lot. He's really talented and I think he just enjoys the company of someone who isn't a "bush person"...as he is so clearly a Niameyite. Only wears western clothes, won't be taking more than one wife, wants 2 kids as opposed to 10...anyways he's been a really good friend to me and it's nice to hang out with him and his other guys friends. I've never realized how much I liked be friends with the opposite sex until it was nearly forbidden. So Huma had come to visit me in my village a few times we mostly just went on walks so I didn't go through the protocol of introducing him to my chief (read: HUGE mistake). Oh and my chief and everyone in my village knows him and has known him since he was little. Anyways Huma comes to see me one sunday afternoon and come into my concenssion with the door open and about 1.2 dozen other people in my concession working in my garden. We talk for a while and as the sun starts to set I walk him to the edge of Donou-dibi (as is customary) and then return back home.
Upon my arrival I see Musa, one of my chief sons and also a friend. He tells me the chief is angry at me, not happy, not even a little. I laugh as Musa and I joke a lot, he's convinced my nalgene bottle has special powers. So upon his request I go to my chiefs hut. Yea mad doesn't do it justice, furious is more like it. He yells at me, screams that I have a boyfriend and is clearly upset at my lack of respect for him (according to him). So I look to my other friends, as I'm pretty much apart of that family now, for some encouraging faces but nothing! I then scream back that I don't know what they're talking about that Huma is my friend NOT my boyfriend! They were all mad at me. The same people that were calling me "little sister" the day before wouldn't even make eye contact. Oh and as usual we drew a crowd.
Tensions were high so I suggested that we all sleep on it and return the next day. On my way back to my house I was called a prostitute. Yea....
The next day I headed to the market early and bought some squash to make what they think is american food...bascially it's just a puree and I put in thins peanut stuff for protein. It actaully is very yummy. When I return with nourishment in hand he and I (and onlookers) talked it out. Bascially he was mad that I didn't bring him to meet him. Plus the fact that he now calls me daughter I think he feels he needs to protect me more so than others. I took this time for a cross-cultural moment and explain that in the states in quite alright and almost the norm for girls and guys to socialize. They all would just keep saying "Irkoy berri" which is God is big...basically OH MY GOD! Oh Niger. All is well. My relationshio with dad, that's what I still call him is different and he notices it. Commenting on it to other people in the village. But in time all will pass and it's really a non-issue now.

In other news, haha...good transitions have never been my thing. I've seen elephants and hippos in the wild on 2 seperate occasions. I also went to Benin actually walked in and out of for a 21 hike through Park W. I have my bike now and that gives me great joy, plus a reason to wear pants. All is well in the Dosso region. I have met and begun to work with a local doctor who works with disabled children. We go around the village and talk with certain families about what they can do for their children and I go back during the week to check up on them and make sure they're taking their meds. Barkissa, the blind girl, she is elegible for a school in Niamey where they will teach her braille but now we are waiting on her fathers permission and he is on exode. I will be starting weaning porridge when I return and starting to talk more about breastfeeding. Oh the things I never thought I would do. Oh and I'll be making my radio debut in Birni in the coming weeks.

The new stage is here and will swear-in about a month from now. It's crazy how fast these 6 months have gone by and now I'm almost a "sophmore" my PC Niger standards. I've met many of them and all I can think is how clean they look. That's what all the PCV's said about us when we got here but I thought they were crazy. Team Dosso will be getting 5 new PCVs and my cluster is getting 2!

Health update: My hair is still leaving my head at a rapid pace. After talking with the good doctor I discovered it was a combination of a lot of things. Mefloquine (the malariaz drug I'm taking), sun exposure and I'm literally malnourished all are causing my golden locks find their new home inside my hair brush. We talked about switched drugs to the once daily medicine but because I am sick so often if I can't take it even one day my chances of contracting malaria are considerably greater. And although I think surviving malaria would be a neat story the idea of a full blood transfusion in Niger doesn't sound at all appealing. Oh and I think some of you might worry yourselves sick if I got malaria (mom, grandma & papa, adam).

Probably the best thing that has happened to me since my last post is I was able to go to church this past sunday. It's been the longest I've been out of church I became a christian. And not having any other christians to connect with was taking its toll on me. Which was odd for me. I expected to be sick a lot and I am. I expected to have to do unladylike things...and oh my lord I do...eehhh. I expected to have to be a more, lets say, conservative in who I hung out. But I didn't expect this hardship (term used loosely). It's good though I've learned A LOT from it. Church was good, I cried and then wwathced a movie with some of the other 20 somethings afterwards. It reminded me so much of home and I can't wait to go back!!!

Well I'm off to my village. Not too sure when I'll return but I miss you all and I hope you're surving your winter there. Hot season is already making its presence known so now comes the "hard part".

Take care and keep in touch.

Best Day yet!

2007-01-07T23:00:00.000-08:00

So let me tell you about my best day in Niger thus far. First a small lesson in Islam. Tabaski (as its known in Niger) or Eid Al-Adha (for all my arabic readers) is a celebration that occurs 70 days after the end of Ramadan. This year that day also happened to be New Year's eve. They celebrate Abraham scarificing his only son Issac. This differs from the christian view (the one that I hold) that God in fact did not make Abraham sacrifice Issac. Anways...in that spirit Muslims (at least in Niger and most of West Africa) "sacrifice" (if you will) a sheep...lots and lots of sheep. It's a big day and I was pumped.
The day before I explained to my cheif and his family why I wouldn't be going to pray with them in the morning but he said I should come and take pictures and watch. So I took him up on the offer. Since most of my villagers know that I'm a Christian I felt pretty safe in going all out Africa-tastic for them. The day of I woke up pretty early to get ready. After putting on my complay (full outfit of all one really LOUD fabric) I headed over to my cheifs concession. I decided to cover my head and if my villagers didn't about burst from excitement...I seriously don't know what I can do to top this. So I covered my head with the same fabirc and then with a head scarf. Everyone loved it and in an instant I got more respect that I had in the past 5 months. Oh and my chief adopted me. All my villagers kept going around telling everyone I was a really zarma now and my chiefs family kept calling me their little sister.
The prayer was an absolutely beautiful scene, in some ways. Everyone goes to the furthest edge of the village and faces the NE of coarse, toward Mecca. I walked much further behindwith all the women. Each elder had one of their many grandchildren carrying their mat. Then everyone got into "formation. The shiek and the prayer caller (i'm sure he has an actual name) stand in front of 2 long rows of men, then behind them the younger boys, behind him the oldest women of the village (only a handful) and then mixed in little kids running EVERYWHERE. It's hard for me to see this and not think of my own faith. For me if I was only allowed to sit behind then men simply because of my gender I would be rather peeved. But then again that thought process is so influenced by what I know but there are in fact women who feel empowered by Islam...to each their own.
After the prayer the sheep killing begans... literally hundreds of sheep. Then I was sent back to my hut to rest. Really they just had to put me in a central location but then the food came. About 5 different families each brought me food or various varities...just think carbs and lots of them. After that was over I headed off to Birni to see Ginger's "boss" as he invited us all over where we ate even more. Then I returned back to Dounu-dibi to do what else but cook. I finally cooked over an open flame and my maijiri's family said it was rather tasty. At this point I was so full I could burst to reject food is pratically a sin in Niger and really anywhere in the developing world so I had been taking about 2 bites of every dish and explaining that American stomachs are small...my villagers told me that I was a zarma now and that I should eat. After we all determined that I was tuckered out from my day I waddled back to my hut with a full stomach, and grin knowing that my first Tabaski was a success.
My New Year's was rather uneventful I fell asleep around 10 here and then came the meat. After the sheep cooked all night each family, by tradition, gives to their community...yea more sheep meat than you know what to do with came my way. I had a lovely breakfast. And that's how I started off 2007. There was lots of talk about how next year my mom will be here for Tabaski as it's on Dec. 20.

Work in my garden is coming along nicely but I had to come into the capital to get some necessary tools and such so I don't have to keep bothering my villagers. My hands are pretty raw and so the trip to Niamey served several purposes: get supplies, employ a friend to water my garden and let my fingers rest a bit. All my villagers keep saying when I go home my mom is going to be so mad that I have suffered and that I worked too hard. Let's just say I'm pretty sure no guy will ever want to hold my hand again. but at the end of the day it's worth it because I made friend green tomatoes and I felt like I was back in the states not too mention the fact that I've gained a lot of respect for my effort. Which really was the intial reason for the gradne anyways. Plus my chief and friends loved them and want me to to them how to make them... yea I am the next Marth Stewart of Niger!

I hope this finds you all well and enjoying your 2007 thus far. I've heard its been pretty warm back in the states. Blasted global warming. Anways thanks for spending some time at my blog and check back in about a month.

Let it snow..I mean I have a sunburn

2006-12-23T08:54:00.000-08:00

While many of you read this from your wintery wonderlands I laid out by the pool in the most amazing weather today. Unfortunately my shoulders, back & legs haven't seen the light of day for that many consecutive hours in months so I'm going to bed a little toasty tonight but it's a feeling that reminds me of home...oh eastern North Carolina.

I am happy...wait I am overjoyed to report that In-Service Training (IST) is over. To be frank it wasn't exactly what I had hoped for but it was good to see friends none the less. Most of my stagemates are soon to arrive out in Zinder (the far east) tonight but I am quite content with my small and intimate Christmas... plus it's with Ginger, Carrie, and Emily in Dosso. I'm pretty excited...plus I have a serious Christmas package from mom that I haven't opened yet (aren't you proud). We're leaving tomorrow after we gather our necessary food supplies. I am cooking fried okra, fried green tomatoes and possibly pizza. It never ceases to amaze me how many people have never even heard of fried okra. Ginger and I made (well she bought it for me to make) a big batch with the intent on sharing yesterday but we snuck behind the hostel and had a lovely big bowl of fried okra as dinner. It did however make me miss my Grandma terribly.

I guess not much else to report right now. I'm very anxious to get back to Dounu-dibi. Tabaski is the 30 and then New Year's. Tabaski is a BIG celebration that occurs 70 days after Ramadan. So it's going to be 2 days of lots of dancing and killing of goats and such...this is what my social life is like now.

I am fast approaching 5 months since my arrival in this little space in the world I like to call home (Dec. 28). I think it's safe to say the honeymoon period is over. I feel a lot more comfortable in being more of me now than I ever have. Before I think I was quite reserved. Let me say that I'm sure many of you are thinking how in Allah's great name could Sarah Pharr ever be reserved??? But just try to imagine trying to comunicate in zarma and wanting to be "culturally sensitive to my community". Well now I've got somewhat of a handle on things and I haven't been ripped off as much in the markets, I have friends that are Nigerien and we can have whole conversations about real things like politics or my new life in Niger, and most importantly I know how to deal with the men. It may have taken 5 months but the solution: LIE. I bought a silver ring which now serves as my "wedding ring". I'm not lieing to my villagers but in big cities I'm as good as taken by "Caibou". Oh Niger...how can you not love it???

I hope this find you all well and in health. I pray that your Christmas is Merry. If you plan on celebrating Tabaski, that your stomachs would be stuffed and a smile on your face. And that your 2007 is better than your 2006.

Kala Hanfo...Until one day...

Sarahtou Dounu-dibi

2006-12-10T10:01:00.000-08:00

OK for no other reason than share this with everyone else I had to post a blog up.

"Hope you are adjusting to being back among Amerik folks. White people can get on your last nerve sometimes." ~Lynn Pharr

In-service training (IST) has been interesting to say the least. I miss Doun-dibi terribly and have thought about my friends, maijiri and cat a lot.

If you do pray I have a slight request. My training site manager, Tondi, has become gravely ill and upon arriving into the capital we all found out he has been in the hospital for nearly a month with severe liver damage. There have been fundraising efforts among PCVs and staff in country as well as RPCV's and former PC Niger staff back in the states. I can't go see him because I begin to cry just thinking about it. Tondi is very important person to be and really the success of PC Niger. Without him and his tireless work I am fully confident I wouldn't be as prepared as I am today. We are raising money to send him to France for better medical care. Obviously being Nigerien or really anyone you don't have the kind of assets that would fund such an expensive trip to receive health care, which isn't exactly the cheapest of all needs. Just pray for him, his family he has 2 very small girls, and his wife.

Seing everyone has been good... but at times frustrating. Most people are happy to sit for the entire day on the porch of the hostel and moan about how they don't like various aspects. I miss having my own space...and just being home...back in my hut. Just know that my mom hit the nail right one the head with her quote. Oh well in due time...Kala suuru...have patience...and so it goes in Niger.

Sidenote: The cell phone has been purchased and the number is listed on facebook or if you want email me (or someone close to me) to get it. Talk to you soon!

Sarahtou Doun-dibi

Change begins with you...

Ay gonda cimi...

2006-12-06T02:57:00.000-08:00

Well friends month 2 certainly did not disappoint. Thanksgiving was lots of fun and leaving my village for this whole month of Deember doesn't make me smile... but oh the obligations of a Peace Corps Volunteer. Out IST (In-service Training) Will be from the 7-22. I have be worned by Germany and others that if I don't come to Zinder for X-mas I will have lost thier friendship...oh peer pressure... so I geuss I'll make the trek out east. I stayed at Ginger's place Monday night where we bought and ate a whole chicken... yea the things you do when you don't have meat regurarly. After our feast we celebrated with peanut butter m & m's... thanks again mom!!! I didn't sleep too well. I fear that I have become so acustomed to sleeping outside now when I have an actual house with concrete walls I get freaked out... plus I couldn't stop thinking about seeing friends... Suz, Texas & Germany.

I arrived yesterday and I was bummed to be leaving Doun-dibi for so long but once I saw my stagemates all was well!!! There was lots of hugs and jumping up and down...ya know the usual me...kisses from Mark Seaman and planning where to sleep so as to be close to Frances. Others seemed to have really interesting stories... but all I could report was beng kicked my a donkey. Which even some more seasoned PCV's thought that was an accomplishment. Everyone had heard about my strep face incident thanks to the PC gossip chain... most peoples responce was that the scars would heal but that I looked much better from what they had heard... haha oh Niger.

Things couldn't be better in Doun-dibi. I fear I may have gotten in over my head with the garden. But it has accomplished much of my original goals. I think I have received a lot of respect for my work. My hands are raw but the work is rewarding. Clearing the field and digging the post holes took a week... whereas most villagers take 2 days. I kept having to take dyas off because my hands just hurt too much. I was told I had a lot of effort and that my strength was growing. In most of your letters you've wanted to see what my house is like or what I do on a day to day patience... I have pictures but the internet cafe i'm at right now is really slow so check facebook closer to christmas... kala suuru...have patience

And now for story time:
So there I was working on my garden which is right next to Rakia's (my chiefs daughters garden) and Basidu (her older brother) came over to start working on the fence post holes. I ask him to teach me as I soon would need post holes as well. Then Basidu looks up at me and says "You's don't know, you're a woman, you can't do this kind of work". Poor poor Basidu...I'm mean really you can't blame him. He doesn't know that I'm a feminist or even what the word means. He doesn't know that I'm "stubborn" or "hard headed" as some have been known to describe me. And he also doesn't know that he just set me off. So in my calmest voice possible I tell him that I like to work with my hands, that in Amerik women can do many of the jobs men do and that I still wanted to learn. He shows me, I dig a hole in the smae time he could have done 3 but at the end he tells me fondo goy..ni ga wanni (Great work...you know). I then walk over, find a rake and walks towards Musa's (another of my maijiri's sons) garden. He isn't there but I know its needs to be cleared so as favor to him I did it.
The crowd begins to form... as Sarahtou is doing a mans job. Basidu can't see me from where he's working but others inform him what I'm doing. Suddenly I got a burst of energy...it was just as the sun was going down. I cleared his garden in about an hour. Musa heard through others that I was working in his garden via the village gossip chain (which is ligting fast by the way). He comes over to tell me he is grateful and that I have a lot of effort. After that is all finished there is a HUGE pile. I suggest we burn it. Musa says know that it's too dry that tree's will catch on fire. Alpha comes by, yes now we're at about 20 people watching me work, he looks to Musa and say that we should burn it. I look to him in aggreement, flash and "I told you so" look ot Musa and urn to get matches. Well being the Sahara as all the fire gets slightly larger than I expect...but not out of control (still good, still good). Me and all these men sit back, arms folded watching this field go up in flames. Musa leans over and say "Ni gonda cimi" (You have truth). At the blazes light Basidu comes around to see what is going on. He see's that I have cleared the garden entirely by myself and Musa informs him it was my idea to burn the large pile. He echos that I not only have truth but strength and effort. I take in a deep breath.... I think to myself I am home. I have their respect. They understand me as best they can, and what of my true self I reveal to them.

I can't help but think...is this really my life? Its bound to get really tough at some point right?

Address Change

2006-12-03T16:39:00.000-08:00

Due to circumstances outside of Sarah's control her options for receiving mail are limited. Please use only the following address when sending letters or packages to Sarah. Sarah Pharr, PCV, Corps de la Paix, B.P. 10537, Niamey, Niger Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to write/support Sarah on this journey. Lynn Pharr, Sarah's Mom

It's been real, It's been fun...but it's time to go

2006-11-01T15:30:00.000-08:00

Well I came into Niamey 5 days ago and I've had my fill. I'm so ready to be back in my village and see my friends! My time here has been great though.

Got a huge thing of ice cream from the best APCD (Assistant PC Director) in all the land... Thanks Gaston!
Had a great talk with Mary... oh the wonders a hug will do
Realized that I couldn't have been serving in a better country with Peace Corps
Spent about $40 (17,000cfa) at score a french grocery store... but I had raviolli for dinner, a golden delicious apple and get this... a TWIX... get in my belly!
But without a doubt the highlight has been being able to talk with my mom and friends...

A little update on my health. Test revealed that I acquired the strep from breath in dust from the sand. (Modern technology & medicine are great things!) So my doctor asked that I avoid sand and children. I tried my best to not to laugh but even when I met with Mary (my Country Director) she couldn't help but laugh. Let me paint a picture. On the walk from the hostel to here I talked to 7 kids and my feet are dusty... and that was about a 10 minute walk.. My concession is nothing but sand... and my job is to look out for the health of little kids. I found out this is likely to happen several more times to me... haha...but he loaded me up with some wicked effective antibiotic, penicillin, and lots of bandages. When I was talking about with some other volunteers they remarked at how positive I was. I mean I've got medicine, I've got friends, I've got villagers who love & care for me... Life is good.

Being in Niamey for this past week with other PCVs (no other newbies...meaning nobody from my stage). I have set up some goals for myself.

I will not have a 3hr.+ long negative conversation about "How Niger sucks..."
I will go out of my way to make new volunteers feel welcome
I won't get strep throat of the face again...I can handle the kind that stays in my throat.

Well I'm off! Take care of you! I'll be back in Niamey the first week in Dec... and that's when I'll buy my cell phone!

The verdict is in...

2006-10-30T00:08:00.000-08:00

Well it seems I will be in Niamey for the next 48hrs on medical hold. I have a case of strep throat which apparently spread to my face... who knew that was even possible??? I also have a staph infection on my legs... So this means another 40 pills. 4 pills a day for 10 days.

I love my life!!! Hope you're all well and disease free back in the states!

1 down... 23 to go

2006-10-29T03:19:00.000-08:00

Well family and friends I made it. My first month flew by. The great days faded into great weeks in no time.
Ramadan was quite an experience. It ended with a huge 2-day party, lots of people resting which was a welcome change for my villagers that work so hard from dawn to dusk. Because of the language barrier I misunderstood and missed the BIG prayer. The morning after the last day of Ramadan the whole village goes to the edge of their respective villages, facing Mecca, and they have a big corporate prayer. I was invited to attened and some people even said I could pray to my God. One thing I have in common with the people of Niger is religion. I talk about that most everyday with someone. Currently I'm reading through the bible and then when that is finished I'm going to read the Koran. Sidenote: Genesis and Exodus have never been so real as now that I'm in Africa.
My villagers have taken to calling me Sarah Doun-dibi (pronounce Saharatou). Since I live alone that means I don't have a last name to them... and I'm not married (at the ripe old age of 22) they elected to give me Doun-dibi. I quite like it. My hut has now become my home, complete with cat hair on everything I own. I'm also slowly but surely learning how to cook in Niger. I have learned that my hut leaks...more like clumps of mud fall when it rainds. After a quick trip to Niamey I returned to a shade hangar (PRAISE THE LORD!!!) My fence isn't totally complete but will be soon as the harvest is coming to a close.
There have been a few tough days, most of them had nothing to do with PC or even Niger. One day that I had my first culture shock experience was with a little girl in my village. Her name is Barkissa, she's about 7 (I think) and she's blind. Yes, it is so like Lynn Pharr's daughter to find one of the only "differently abled" child in my village and attach myself to her but that's what I've done. So i was on the foot pump...getting my water for my bucket bath and Barkissa comes wandering out of her concession. Cutural lesson #432 that way Nigeriens deal with disabilities is to make fun of them and laugh. Ok, so an elder in my village comes walking by and begins to absolutely birrade this little girl. He tells her to go home, knowing full well she doesn't know which directions that is. One girl put her on her way and she soon falls into a brier patch. Everone breaks out into laughter... I mean after all that's what they are supposed to do their their way of life no mote. I quickly weighed my options: get off the foot pump and help her (this would no doubt cause people to look differently at me in my village) or sit there an pretend nothing different. After about what seemed like forveer (probably 30 seconds) of people laughing at her I jumped down off the pump and ran to her (sidenote: women NEVER run here). Took the briers off of her and carried her home. She had a huge smile on her face. As soon as I jumped off the pump everything went silent and stayed that way until I returned. All the women & men around stopped working and talking and just stared at me. Since then they really have done their best to keep Narkissa ways from me. It was quite the hot topic around Doun-dibi for a few days but seems to have passed. it's in those moments that I realize just how tough this job will be. I was completely alone in a village of 1,000 people. I wanted to cry but if I did that the damage would be very hard to reverse... when an adult cries it is not soon forgotten. I then returned to my hut...angry and with no way to communicate that. I did't even have someone there to sympathize in English with me. I wanted so badly to call my mom and vent... hear her supportive voice but non of these things happened. I worked though it. I'm learning to appreciate out differences...this culuture and that I've grown up in. I have later spoken with the man: we talked about how in the states we react to someone who is blind. He though that was interesting and at the end of the conversation he came to the conclusion that Americk (as they call it) was different that Doun-dibi... yea to say the least.
My best day on the job came when Sahara (ma konni- my name sake) a little girl that showed up right outside my door one morning. I took note because just 2 days prior I was at her concession showing her mom a pink-eye solution (salt & water). Sahara is all of about 9 years old and had come to report that her mo dorri (eye pain) was gone! And in an instant I felt like I just created world peace! It's simple but this girl who has had probably 100 pink eye infections in her life now has found a way to make them stop. And it didn't cost her mom nearly any money... money that can be spent (hopefully) on food or saved when they really need it one day.
And that right there my friends is my job. I talk with women about family planning: I explain why I have guy friends and how that's ok in America but not in Niger. I walk with women to the doctor's office and tell them they should wash their children everday. I explain that I'm quite alright with being 22 and not married, and just for kicks I tell them I want to get married when I'm 30...that's always a crowd pleaser. I do my best to describe this crazy land where people wear shorts when it's hot and where we don't have camels. People ask me for money and medicine...I explain I have neither for them...but I have knoewledge of a medicine they can make at their house. And on top of all of this I go through most of it completely alone. When it's not great I think I could nearly self destruct with my thoughts. But the great times only seem to get better. Slowly but surely I'm carving out my little space here in Doun-dibi...it's tought but I love it!
Missing you all greatly... come visit me!

A special thanks for the package mom & smokehouse girls...letters from Ashley S and Ashleigh P. Packages are taking about 10 days to get here... and I know what you're thinking... "Gosh I want to send Sarah a package but what does she want"...have no fear bullet point are here!

Markers, highlighters & pens
Crystal Lite to-go packets
Spices (Pepper, Mrs. Dash, Old Bay)
Pictures & Frames
Oatmeal & Grits (the lower sugar kind...yea I'm counting cals even here!)
Meat (oh protein how I miss you!)
AA Batteries... picture taking is at a standstill!
Anything else your little heart desires... most creative gifts get bragged about to other PCV's

And sending them to Dosso isn't a problem...plus they don't get rumaged through in customs

My address is

Sarah Pharr, PCV

Corps de la Paix

B.P. 144

Dosso, Niger, West Africa

I guess this is good-bye for another month... Have a Happy Thanksgiving & Halloween

I'll be buying my cell phone in Dec. so start buying up those phone cards!

Kala Surru... Have patience

2006-10-06T08:19:00.000-07:00

Ok so I pretty much spent and hour writing this really great detailed post and then the electricity shut off... and so it goes in Niger.

Just know that I'm loving life and I'm absolutley blessed!

Always yours.... Sarahtou

I do solemnly swear,,,,

2006-09-30T05:06:00.000-07:00

Well its official.... I am now a Peace Corps Volunteer. The swear-in ceremony was great. The ambassadors residence was wonderful. The speeches were great. Our clothes were quite frankly... amazing! The PCV's were out in full force. The past few days have been a whirlwind... we had the GAD (Gender and Development) Auction on Wed. where I purchased a few things... namely a $100 sleeping bag for about $8, a bracelet and another nalgene... and all in the name of gender equality. Then the PCV's hosted a BBQ at the Niamey hostel on Thursday. The food was amazing... I had pork and it was GRAND!!! Then yesterday was the ceremony. Its been really nice to meet the other volunteers but we're still the "newbies". The next stage lands Jan. 7 (AG & NRM) but they won't swear-in until March... and so it goes!

Henry McCoy, the Africa Regional Director, was in west africa and it was quite the treat. David Liner had introduced me to him about a month before I left. I had been looking forward to his visit plus the whole country was a buzz with getting ready for him. He was the first face I had seen from home and he had nothing but encouraging words for me and my fellow stage mates. He also said he'll be back in a year to check our progress... exciting times. Plus he gives a great hug... and on top of all of this he's a North Carolinian... does it get better... I think not!

It's bitter sweet that stage is over. I'm sad to leave my friends and the petit america that we have in Hamdy... I can't wear shorts really anywhere else. But i'm also anxious to start the work I came here to do. I will no doubt cry when I say good-bye to Suzannah, Texas, Germany.... and many others that I won't see for 2 months but its time. It time to give back to the people that have given me so much. I'm ready as I'll ever be so now its sink or swim... and I fully intend to be doing laps.

Well I miss you all and wish you well. I will be back in the capital in Dec. sometime. But for the entire month of Oct. I'll be in Doundibi.

So....
Happy Birthday Mom... Oct. 12 I miss you so much thanks for being my biggest cheerleader
Happy Birthday Brittney... Oct. 2 GO DAWGS!!! So here's the thing you need to come visit me.
Happy Birthday Karen.... Oct. 10 Oh wow... if I was there I'd totally take you on TCBY date!!! WHOOP!!!
Happy Birthday Ashley Shaw... Oct. 14 My 5489... um I'm going to have to ask you to come to Africa.!!!
Congrats... Sarah & Robin on the new baby that will no doubt arrive while I'm out in the bush.
(If I forogt you its because I have lost my address book... and don't remember your b-day off the top of my head.)

Kala Kayan.... Until I return.

That's right I passed!!!!

2006-09-27T06:56:00.000-07:00

You're now reading the blog of a very soon to be Nigerien Peace Corps Volunteer.... I have passed my medical exam, passed my zarma (Praise Irkoy) exam.... so now if I can just make sure I don't get medicallly seperated in the next 72 hours I will take my oath and become a volunteer. I'm so excited I'm about to burst. The 2 months (exactly tomorrow) have been a rollercoaster that I am more than ready to get off of.

The past week has been all together joyous and down right awful. We had 3 people leave in 2 days....and not that I was particulary close to any of them but when you know someone with only a plane ride away from seeing their family, friends and boyfriends its easy to get homesick. There were several factors and a lot of us were feeling the same things which made it a lot easier. I didn't want to et but I did want to be home for a like a day or two and then come back. But this has passed. Today I got a huge package and a letter from my grandparents and that took away any lingering homesickness that was still there. I will head out to post on Oct. 2 and will stay there for a complete month. My IST (In-service training) is the first 2 weeks of Dec. then we'll spend X-mas in Zinder and New Years in Maradi as a stage.

I think that is the key to my success as a volunteer looking forward to the chances when we'll all get together as stage. Or when new stage's come... visitors come (hint hint)...because when I start thinking about it as 2 years I sorta get dizzy. The other PCV's in country have been more than welcoming. Tonight is the GAD (Gender & Development) dinner/auction. Tomorrow they are throwing a BIG BBQ for us at the Niamey hostel, Friday afternoon we'll swear-in, there's a big party that night back up on site, we have sat to relax and then I'll leave Sunday morning to head off to Dosso.

So in a nutshell.... my life is grand!!! I love Niger. I love most of my stage. I love my village...no complaints.... talk to you all soon. Take care !!!

The picture is me with The Niger River behind.

Sorry its short

2006-09-24T06:22:00.000-07:00

So long time no post.

Doundibi (dun-deebee) was amazing! My village is about 600-1000 people. My maygery(chief) is awesome. He's a 70 yr. old, man with lots of gray hair and one leg. Whenever he saw me he would get this big smile on his face and start to clap... saying we we're going to talk lots and lots of Zarma... then we pretty much sat silent. My hut is a good size. It's pretty much a 10 by 10 box. Most impressive is my drum roll please... CEMENT FLOOR. I'm fairly excited about that. My closest neighbor is a traditional singer. I'm not even 30 yards from get this... A FOOT PUMP! Woohoo! I was able to watch a women read Zarma for the first time... which was so awesome!

We lost 3 more people all girls... for various reasons. We also have another person being medavaced to DC the day after swear-in. Chances of him returning are slim. But officially only 5 have dropped out.

My birthday was grand. I was wished many happy birthday's at around mid-night. Carrie gave me a card. Then she & I traveled back to the training site. Where at dinner I was greeted with cake. I got to see all my friends and talk to my mom, grandma & papa and Adam... it was a great day I rather like being 22... if not for the fact that iwey cindi hinka sounds better than iwey cindi fo... 22 and 21 in zarma... oh I almost forgot I got a cat for my birthday. Our driver at the Dosso hostel gave me his cat which I'm thrilled about. Bitik which translates as very black is just that... with some white. He looks alot like Scrub and i'm excited about that.

I started reading and have almost finished Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller... definetly a good read and I highly recommend it.

Well i'm going to go because quite frankly I'm tired of typing. I miss you all terribly and can't wait to hear from you... through letters (and packages).

Miss you all more than you'll ever know... come visit me!

Doundibi... home sweet home

2006-09-12T05:30:00.000-07:00

So I am soon to be a volunteer in the Dosso region of Niger. My village is called Doundibi and is right next to Birni N'Gourne. I will be on a paved road and will have cell phone coverage. I will get a cell phone around Christmas once I have given myself some time to really intergrate into my community without distractions. My village is about 600 people and I'm the first volunteer there. They have been asking for a volunteer for over 6 years so I hoped they aren't expecting too much from me. All the health needs are met by the hospital (term used loosely) that is less than 1k away in Birni. I hope to get to work at this hospital alot... its the same place where I saw the malnourished child. I am also right next to a friend... her name is Ginger and she was my roomate in Philly. She's a CYE in Birni and has said I can use her electricity.... I'm rather exciteded about that prospect. I will be about 30k (18 miles) from Dosso and the hostel there.

As such my address is now changing:
Sarah Pharr, PCV
Corps de la Paix
B.P. 144
Dosso, Niger, West Africa
The large print in not by accident. I have determinded that I have the best support from home and I have received the most packages... so much so that there seems to be some slight envy brewing... I have coined a term "Bitter and packageless"....So thanks mom, grandma & Papa, Adam... and I just got you letter Ashley... yay! FYI... I have lost my address book so if you want a letter send me one with your address on it!

My sister had a baby. On the bush taxi (10 people in a station wagon) ride back last week a friend leaned over to tell me that Isa, my sister who is 17 gave birth to a healthy little girl. This is her first child with her husband that she married when she was 15. Anyways in niger they don't name the baby until a week later so she was name this past sunday. They killed a goat, and named her Mofidatou. We had a lovely feat of goat sauce over rice that night. Sounds not so great but I promise you this was a good day. Oh and our gift... in niger yolu take soap and money. Soap because the new mom stays inside her hut (fu) for 40 days after the birth... this is called the washing period and we (Carrie & I) each gave 500 cfa's which is $1 here. She was overjoyed.

Oh and probably one of the greatest things... we had a thief! For some reason our older brother thought it would be a good idea to steal a tv from a cook that works at the training site for PC. Well.... not so much a good idea. There was a lot of noise in my concession so I went out to see what was going on and there were literallaly 100s of people trying to get into our house, plus lots of people peering over the high walls. Come to find out that all the villagers including the cheif had come to my house with spears and machetees... it was awesome. He stayed there that night... yes I slept in the same concession and a thief (zayo in zarma) and then the next day while we were at the training site he was taken in the caital by the police in handcuffs. My family was so pissed... with good reason he damaged their name. Anyways... just a day in the life of a Peace Corps trainee.... soon to be volunteer!

Zarma... has without a doubt been my biggest frustration. We took out 2nd LPI (language profiency exam) and I still have not moved from Novice Mid... I have to get Intermediate Low to be installed in my village. So at seeing my score I lost it. The only times I have cried here have been over the first few letters I received and Zarma class. Tondi our site manager found me... he's so much like our dad its crazy. He has been a very important part in our transition here and if there was an award for best training site manager in PC he would surely get it. He gave me a pep talk and then knew that I just needed to cry it out. When I sat down to talk to him this morning he said he though about me all night. I told him that the though of et'ing (early terminating) had not even crossed my mind and simply explained to him my frustrations. After talking with him, suzannah, a good hug from texas, some other zarma cha's. Then I found a magazine that is directed towards possible applicants and it helped so much... it reminded me of why I joined PC in the first place. Yes I will have days when I just need to cry for hours... but at the end of the day I'm still happy with my choice to be here. Afterwards I went down to my hut, read a "emergency" letter from mom, ate some junk food and then listened to music.... now I'm fine and ready to tackle this zarma. But as we discovered none of the zarma cha's advanced and after we each met with Tondi he determined that a different tester my be more appropriate... even everyone else said they had seen improvement since the last LPI.

So I'm off I will try to update this hopefully on my birthday.... talk to you later! Love you guys!

Wish list

Flags: Baylor and NC are on top of the list. I've already got a peace and yes a texas flag has made its way into my life here.... I just can't escape... miss you girls!
Letters, Packages & Pictures... these mean the most
CD's & DVD's... you know what I like
Jesus stuff... any message or conference on cd or dvd. Examples/suggestions like Rob Bell, Louio G, and Passion 06. Just imagine me in Africa with a church, or anyone to talk to about Jesus, and a group of friends who would like to forget that I'm a christian.
Anything else that you think my enhance my new home... just think of it as my first house warming party except I'll be the only one at the party.

Thanks so much for the emails and letters. Letters are still the best way to communicate with me. I'll be at post for all of Oct. and won't have access to the internet.

Well I must return back to headquaters... can't wait to fill you all in about my new home!

Lovts of love from Niger!!!

Girraffes, ameobas & badmitten

2006-09-12T05:27:00.000-07:00

This is a post from a week ago that never actually posted for some reason:

Wow... so let me first start off by dedicating this post and every one thereafter to my mother for her being just awesome. More on why she's awesome later.

Niger never ceases to amaze me. Since my last posting I have had a case of ameobic dysentary but that was cured with a 54 pill treatment in 10 days....I just finished that Monday. But now my toe is infected so I'm on another 40 pill treatment over the next 10 days (I started on Thursday)... but depsite this minor setbacks I'm GREAT.

The CHA's (Community Health Agents) went on a little field trip to Dosso this past Fri & Sat. Which had it's ups and downs. I was able to see some hospitla sof varying sizes and levels of resources. But I also so a severly malnourished child that is not likley to make it thorugh the next week. It something that I will never forget as long as I live. Also something I struggle with not feeling guilty for having already eaten twice that day and knowing that I have some of the best medical care in country simply because of where I have citizenship. I have a hard time seeing justice in all of this.

But on a lighter note we met the shiek (sp?) who is a fairly big deal in Niger and really all of west africa. During Muhammad's b-day people come from all over west africa to receive his blessing. He blessed us.... hoping for long lives full of money and for us not to forget Niger once we returned back home... I can assure you that will never happen.

Late on Friday night the driver at the Dosso hostel hosted a party at his house... which was so big it had to moved onto the street. there were about 250-300 people there easy lots of dancing... which I loved. There were only a handful of stagiers dancing but the girls seemed to like me. Everytime I sat down to rest one of them came over to snatch me out of my seat again... surely memories that will last a lifetime.

As to why my mother is AWESOME! About 2 weeks ago she sent me a badmitten set... that's right a BADMITTEN SET!!! You see here in Africa they really only play one sport and that is soccer... no offense but its not my thing. So a few friend and I were sitting around chatting and this man walks by with a package and in my mind I thought "wow that looks like the shape of a badmitten set"... of course not saying these things out loud so people didn't think I was absolutely crazy. But then a friend (Ginger) comes and sits down next to me... to let me know a package has arrived for me. So then I frantically hunt the package down to see that indeed my mother has not only sent me and package but she DLH'd that madness to me! So I finally broke out the badmitten the other day and let me tell you my heart was at ease. I won the first 3 games but by game 4 my toes was causing my too much grief to really be an affective team player. So in conclusion all the Nigerien are wickedly confused by this crazy sport that I'm smitten with... i'm teaching them slowly but surely. Everyone in stage think i'm weird... and that my mom loves me a lot! ( I got the first DHL package.... woohoo!)

We find out our posts on the 8th.... so Friday I'll learn my new village for the next 2 years of my life... wow I can't wait. Then live-in is Sept. 13-19 which is where we go to post for a few days to just check it out and plan for what we'll need to buy. Sept 19... yours truly celebrates her first birthday in Africa. Then we swear-in Sept 29 that's when I officially become a Peace Corps Volunteer and am rather excited about that. Then I spend an entire month at post and can't leave... wow that will be tough but an exciting experience.

I almost forgot... giraffes. So yesterday on out way back from Dosso we were just driving along as normal... ya know 20 white people in a bus in Niger... we tend to stick out. And all of the sudden Katie (a precious southenr girls from GA) yells giraffs.... so the bus comes to a screaching halt on the side of the rode we all run out and slowly wak towards the last wild giraffes on the planet. There were about 30 of them (There official estimate is about 50 that live in the reserve that sets in Niger & Togo) and I was maybe 20 feet away from these creatures. The pictures are amazing and the memories even more amazing.... I love my life!

Until next time... Kala Tonton!

AMAZING

2006-08-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

FoFo

Hello in Zarma! I can't even put my experince into words... wow I love Africa! I'm a bit under the weather right now so I'm Niamey which allows me access to technology that my fellow stagiers don't have at the moment. So let me tell you about an average day... I wake up around 6:30Am to roosters, donkeys, sheep, goats and various other noises at my adoptive families house (Alpheri Toure). After sleeping under the Nigerien sky in handy dandy misquito nets we "freshing up" (this term is used lightly) and then head up to tondon bon (zarma for the hill) where I take calsses in Zarma, cross cultural class, technical training classes for health and of course socialize with my fellow stagiers. I must say I've grown A LOT... I have had moments where I just needed to cry it out... pull myself up and keep going. It funny that eveyone here thinks i'm so optimistic as some at home have hinted that I am not. My token phrase is "This to shall pass"... and it will my latest frustration has been money in zarma... we all want to rip our hair out but I know a month and a year down the road we'll look back on our days of anguish and laugh. Anyways after classes with have happy hour where we can buy cokes & sprite (can you dig it??) and just hang out with. Then at 6 (noon on the east coast) we go back to our adoptive families where I do my best to struggle through the zarma I know... mostly I play with the 9 kids in my family, and try to find odd chores to do. We have dinner with them every night where I eat with my hands... I've done my best to embrace germs as they will be a permanent fixure for the next 2 years of my life. I usually pass out by 10. Everyday is different from another... I just absolutely love it!

My closest friends are Suzannah my fellow North Carolinian, Clark from Seattle, Texas (his real name is Austin) It amazing that state just follows me!, Carrie my roomate from Cali, Chris K. from Germany/Canada/DC (he has introduced me to French Rap and I love it)... we are such a diverse group but I get along with almost everyone...

Highlights thus far: Uum the simple fact that this is a dream come true and I actually live in Africa, going to the market, Independence Day (Aug. 3) we planted trees and then went to the National Cup soccer game... CRAZY, getting a letter from mom, volleyball, any conversation with Texas (HILARIOUS), the kids in Hamdy, going on windi-windi's (walk-arounds in Zarma) with Suzannah, getting girls to say North Carolina and call me by my name.

Once we move in with our adoptive families they all give us Nigerien names... Ay ma Mariam (I am Mary in zarma).... but I have done by best to fight this as I l-o-v-e my name so I try when possible to tell people my name is Sarahtou... its fairly common to add on a -tou to the end of every name.

Anyways I loved the emails and mom you did win with the frist snail mail but she also had the address first! Grandma... everyone loves the skirts and its a great way to have a piece of you in Africa!!! I miss you all like crazy and think about you lots...

Until next time...oh by the way everything in Niger takes longer than expected so just Kala suru (have patience)! Thanks for the emails... they mean the world to me!

Kala Tonton.... Good-bye

It's really happening... wow

2006-07-27T07:44:00.000-07:00

I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and it's never kept me from doing a single thing I wanted to do. ~ Georgia O'Keefe.... So I've packed, unpacked, weighed threw away some stuff, and repacked. Been vaccinated against Polio & yellow fever (I dodged the MMR).. I got the once a week malaria pill and that seems to be a good thing and I'm ready... well as ready as I'll ever be. I am with 42 other PCTs (Peace Corps Trainee's)... we come from everywhere... the majority are west coasters. But some from MI, OH , TX, OK, NY, DC and surprise surprise one fellow North Carolinian... she and I have bonded over things such as bbq and the difference between east, west and middle. I've already been told I'm the sweet southern girl... which I welcome with open arms. We're all so different but very cool. Army brats, non-profit kids, Ivy League and public schools, some born in Germany, Argentina & Puerto Rico. I can see our potential and its very exciting. I am one of the youngest with our average age being 26. No married couples or anyone over 30 they tend to send only the healthiest of applicants to the toughest of nations... we've joked about how "we're the real peace corps". Staging (pre-depature orientation) has been really good... busy with an overload of information but I realized that I'm not in this alone. It's almost as though we didn't know how to communicate our fears until we all said them out loud. I'm nervous and can't seem to shake this knot in my stomach but I can't wait to overcome that and be walking down the streets in Niger with ease... this won't come overnight or even within a month but it will come and that my friends will be a grand day!!! I'm excited about the different ways my life is about to change with this crazy group of people, the hope that I can make a difference in one person's life... and then bring that knowledge and hope back to all of you guys. My flight leaves JFK (in NY) at around 9 and then I'll land in Niger tomorrow around 3:30pm (about 9:30 am Eastern)... I hope you're all doing well... I and my 42 new best friends are a little woozy after our shots and we have to take our malaria pill on a very full stomach so I'm off to my one last meal (before airport food)...Au Revoir mes amis! (sorry about the format the hotel computer is rather odd)

Oh the difference a year makes...

2006-07-25T05:21:00.000-07:00

Just one year ago I was filling out my application to the Peace Corps with big dreams of being accepted and running off to save the world. I sit here in Old Town Alexandria with many of the same dreams and ideas but slightly toned down. The reality of my new life hasn't quite set in but I've come to accept the fact that I won't cure AIDS & HIV in the 2 years that I'll be in Niger.

I'm nervous, excited, sad, anxious... so many things all in one. In just a few short hours I will register as a trainee into the Peace Corps and meet my new best friends and only source of normalcy for the next two years. There are 30 of us total and I can't wait to meet these 29 other people who saw the prospect of no running water or electricity and a high probability of catching malaria as a good option for their next career move or retirement, I'm sure we'll be a fun bunch.

The good-byes have been tear filled and sometimes more than once but without a doubt my mom will be my toughest. I love you mom... Take care of you! I will miss you all greatly!

I will do my best to update this weekly but I have no clue how frequent I'll be able to get to a internet cafe.

Love you all!

Change begins with you...