Here I am... at the end

OK so blogging may not be something I exactly excel at but yes I'm still alive and in Niger, although I will soon be on my way to great United States of America. Needless to say I'm a bit of an emotional roller coaster as my time in Niger comes to a close and I know if I tried to but it all into words it would just be one long rant. At of close-of-service conference we were given lots of questions to provoke each of us to start thinking about our service and our transition back to the states. By the way my training group started with 43 people and at the end of the 2 years we were 24, better than most!!!

1) What impressions did i get out of my group and Peace Corps from training?
Surprisingly not everyone came to bring world peace like I thought. I thought it was a good representation of how diverse America truly it. As for Peace Corps well I thought I'd come to Niger and solve all their problems... well that dream was crushed on my ride from the airport to the training site.

2) Who is my favorite person at my site? Why?
Hands down Rakia, my older sister. She is *sigh* just a joy. She was the first person I taught how to hug and we've shared many memories together. She jokes with me and teases me relentlessly. She has gotten me water when I'm sick, helped me bargain down to the real price not the white people price, she taught me how to cook and wrap my skirt. I can't imagine my time in Niger without her. As of the past month she shows up to my house right after lunch to just sit and chat, look sad and say "Are you sure you want to leave?".

3) Who was/is my favorite child?
This list is a long one. Ishatou, the daughter of one of my brothers, she was terrified of me in the beginning but after about 6 months she finally warmed up to me. We spent a year together walking to a from the pump, me teaching her zarma and her tangling my hair. One of my favorite memories was when my mom came to visit she sat on my lap and just stared at mom speechless, Later she asked her mom who the white woman was and why I wasn't afraid of her. She sadly died in this past hot season. Barkissa's, they live right next to each other and are about 14 & 7. One had epilepsy and the other is blind. Disabled children in Niger are at the bottom of the social ladder, only above disabled adults. I think I'm the first person to show this girls some real love. Lastly Ramatou, she can't walk or talk and was abandoned by her mother but now with the help of her grandmother, Mousa & Jen (RPCV from Cote D'Ivore) she can walk and communicate non-verbally. All of these girls hold a special place in my heart.

4) Who was my counterpart? What was our relationship?
Halmia, she has lots of effort and we worked closely at the malnutrition clinic together.

5) 2 years- what am I most proud of?
Learning ZARMA! That I did it when so many didn't think I would. That I'm fully integrated into my community and that I think they have a better understanding of where I come from, even if they still think Amerik is a village on the other side of Niamey.

6) Biggest challenge?
ZARMA, cultural differences and trying to stay healthy.

7) Did I overcome that challenge?
Zarma- Ay si bay ni ga hima ga hand ay kwara borey. (I don't know you should ask my villagers) but I can get by.
Cultural differences- i have learned a great deal about how the US shapes me and my world view. I understand Nigerien culture now but that doesn't mean I don't get frustrated from time to time.
Healthy- haha not at all! I'll be in the land of clean water soon enough.

8) Favorite social event with Nigerien friends?
Anything with dancing & drums.

9) Favorite place to be alone?
On top of my messa where I can see the entire valley and my village.

10) Best book read?
Well I've read 85 of them so it's hard to narrow down. But Posionwood Bible, The Irresistible Revolution, Walk in the Woods, Stop Dressing your Six-Year Old like a Skank, The End of Poverty, God's Politics, Eat, Love, Pray.... this list could go on for a while.

11) Special person that I truly affected? How?
You'll have to ask me that one.

12) Who could I not affect? Why?
The men over Niger. I don't think many men changed their opinion of the supposed "lower" status of women from me. Although I was known to get into a heated argument or 2 and simply not acknowledge sexist men I can't say that any of them actually changed from my actions.

13) How would I like my community to remember me?
As someone who worked hard on their behalf, who respected them and their culture while still maintaining my identity. That I laughed, danced, hugged and loved the home they offered me.

14) What/who would I like to forget?
A few choice peace corps volunteers. And every time I've ever been sick. Or when I hurt someone.

15) What is a normal day like?
Wake up 7-8am. Go to the pump and get water for the day. 9-12 Walking around visiting villagers. 12-4 In my hut reading waiting for the sun to lose some of it's strength. 5-7 To my dad's (chief) house to see the family and talk about our days. 8 dinner... oh the carbs. More reading until 10ish.

16) Unrealistic expectation going into PC?
That I was going to bring "World Peace" to Niger. It still makes me laugh.

17) Was I nervous about my safety?
In my village NEVER. In Niamey, yep!

18) Who in my community will I try to keep in touch with?
My chief and his whole family.

19) My community in 10 years?
I'd love to see Donou-dibi with electricity, a more secure source of clean drinking water and significantly more students passing their exams and women giving birth at the hospital.

20) Biggest change that occurred in me in 2 years?
What hasn't changed? I have lots more patience and better understanding of who I am. I'm also not as OCD plus I'm a lighter sleeper. But honestly I think it's going to take some time before I'll be able to even understand the changes in me.

21) What have I learned and don't want to forget?
The true definition of need versus want.

22) Who/what drove me to tears or drove me crazy?
Learning zarma and transportation issues.

23) Who/what bothered me in 1st 3 months and now not at all?
When everyone would call me "anasara" (white person).

24) Do I think that PC Niger has really made a difference? How?
I think the differences that have been made are a smaller scale and not necessarily x amount of women are giving birth in clinic but the relationships we form I think help Nigeriens understands themselves better as well as out culture. I think especially in this Muslim country when someone would say "we hate Americans" one of my villagers would say that they know an American that helped them and isn't the evil that often get portrayed abroad.


I am set to close-out my service on Sept 16 and will land back in the states on Sept. 18. As for now I will push into my next few weeks taking one day at a time and trying to hold onto each memory as they come.

Until America....