Reflections on America...

Hello all. Sorry for my lack of posting. America has been a lot to take in, what with sidewalks, English, a new democratic president, the economy in a deep depression and an abundance of shopping opportunities I haven't made time to document for my internet audience.

My first reactions of America were diverse to put it diplomatically. One of the most popular songs contains a chorus of "All I wanna do if *gun shots* and *cash register* and take your money". I vaguely remember this America where violent images and songs were just apart of the culture but to completely remove myself and live in relative harmony for 2 years was quite a shock. I have a much harder time with wasting food than I ever have before, for obvious reasons. The superficiality of America has almost become an ententity in it's own right. Don't get me wrong I appreciate a new purse or nice clothes as much as the next person but I can't in good conscious spend $1,000s in pursuit of some never ending ideal. When you have held a starving child, or let your life intertwine with the poorest of poor you will be changed forever, and for that change I am forever grateful.

As for adjustment well it's as good as to be expected. I'm cold all the time. I can't remember the last time I had water because Diet Sprite at my disposal still amazes me. The thought of rice still makes me gag. I have driven a handful of times with no big incident but I'm really rusty on parking. As for employment I'll be quest services/ front desk at the new Omni in downtown Fort Worth. Which is obviously not my dream job but will pay the bills and I should be thankful for anything I can get. I haven't gotten a car yet but before I start training hopefully that will become a reality. And I'm still working on my graduate school applications. The best way I've been able to describe it is I was just born but to this adult body and mind and I have to start all over from scratch and I'm not the same girl that left.

Some funny readjustments: I didn't know how to turn my shower on! I think I've eaten my weight in fresh fruits and veggies. My first few meals were eaten with my hands, it was just easier! I had no idea who Sarah Palin was in the JFK airport, leading some random traveler to think I had been living under a rock. Little did I know she would offer up many good laughs in the weeks ahead.

Favorite Things About America:

• My family & friends
• The vegetable & fruits section, the plastic bags remind me of Niger
• My feet staying clean
• Baths!!!
• Lack of transportation issues
• Clean drinking water
• Being healthy again
• Church
• A mutual understanding
• President Elect Obama
• Wireless Internet
• Laughing with my mom (usually making fun of Texas)

Things I Miss About Niger

• My family & friends there
• Speaking Zarma- I was just getting good at it!
• My cat Malibu
• Street meat, kilshi, Majji Cubes, fried bean cakes, masa, kuli-kuli
• Sunsets and stars
• Hiking to the messa
• The call to prayer
• Feeling really clean after a bucket bath
• Free time to read
• The excitement of a phone call or care package
• The drums & dancing
• New babies everywhere
• Carrying things on my head

Here I am... at the end

OK so blogging may not be something I exactly excel at but yes I'm still alive and in Niger, although I will soon be on my way to great United States of America. Needless to say I'm a bit of an emotional roller coaster as my time in Niger comes to a close and I know if I tried to but it all into words it would just be one long rant. At of close-of-service conference we were given lots of questions to provoke each of us to start thinking about our service and our transition back to the states. By the way my training group started with 43 people and at the end of the 2 years we were 24, better than most!!!

1) What impressions did i get out of my group and Peace Corps from training?
Surprisingly not everyone came to bring world peace like I thought. I thought it was a good representation of how diverse America truly it. As for Peace Corps well I thought I'd come to Niger and solve all their problems... well that dream was crushed on my ride from the airport to the training site.

2) Who is my favorite person at my site? Why?
Hands down Rakia, my older sister. She is *sigh* just a joy. She was the first person I taught how to hug and we've shared many memories together. She jokes with me and teases me relentlessly. She has gotten me water when I'm sick, helped me bargain down to the real price not the white people price, she taught me how to cook and wrap my skirt. I can't imagine my time in Niger without her. As of the past month she shows up to my house right after lunch to just sit and chat, look sad and say "Are you sure you want to leave?".

3) Who was/is my favorite child?
This list is a long one. Ishatou, the daughter of one of my brothers, she was terrified of me in the beginning but after about 6 months she finally warmed up to me. We spent a year together walking to a from the pump, me teaching her zarma and her tangling my hair. One of my favorite memories was when my mom came to visit she sat on my lap and just stared at mom speechless, Later she asked her mom who the white woman was and why I wasn't afraid of her. She sadly died in this past hot season. Barkissa's, they live right next to each other and are about 14 & 7. One had epilepsy and the other is blind. Disabled children in Niger are at the bottom of the social ladder, only above disabled adults. I think I'm the first person to show this girls some real love. Lastly Ramatou, she can't walk or talk and was abandoned by her mother but now with the help of her grandmother, Mousa & Jen (RPCV from Cote D'Ivore) she can walk and communicate non-verbally. All of these girls hold a special place in my heart.

4) Who was my counterpart? What was our relationship?
Halmia, she has lots of effort and we worked closely at the malnutrition clinic together.

5) 2 years- what am I most proud of?
Learning ZARMA! That I did it when so many didn't think I would. That I'm fully integrated into my community and that I think they have a better understanding of where I come from, even if they still think Amerik is a village on the other side of Niamey.

6) Biggest challenge?
ZARMA, cultural differences and trying to stay healthy.

7) Did I overcome that challenge?
Zarma- Ay si bay ni ga hima ga hand ay kwara borey. (I don't know you should ask my villagers) but I can get by.
Cultural differences- i have learned a great deal about how the US shapes me and my world view. I understand Nigerien culture now but that doesn't mean I don't get frustrated from time to time.
Healthy- haha not at all! I'll be in the land of clean water soon enough.

8) Favorite social event with Nigerien friends?
Anything with dancing & drums.

9) Favorite place to be alone?
On top of my messa where I can see the entire valley and my village.

10) Best book read?
Well I've read 85 of them so it's hard to narrow down. But Posionwood Bible, The Irresistible Revolution, Walk in the Woods, Stop Dressing your Six-Year Old like a Skank, The End of Poverty, God's Politics, Eat, Love, Pray.... this list could go on for a while.

11) Special person that I truly affected? How?
You'll have to ask me that one.

12) Who could I not affect? Why?
The men over Niger. I don't think many men changed their opinion of the supposed "lower" status of women from me. Although I was known to get into a heated argument or 2 and simply not acknowledge sexist men I can't say that any of them actually changed from my actions.

13) How would I like my community to remember me?
As someone who worked hard on their behalf, who respected them and their culture while still maintaining my identity. That I laughed, danced, hugged and loved the home they offered me.

14) What/who would I like to forget?
A few choice peace corps volunteers. And every time I've ever been sick. Or when I hurt someone.

15) What is a normal day like?
Wake up 7-8am. Go to the pump and get water for the day. 9-12 Walking around visiting villagers. 12-4 In my hut reading waiting for the sun to lose some of it's strength. 5-7 To my dad's (chief) house to see the family and talk about our days. 8 dinner... oh the carbs. More reading until 10ish.

16) Unrealistic expectation going into PC?
That I was going to bring "World Peace" to Niger. It still makes me laugh.

17) Was I nervous about my safety?
In my village NEVER. In Niamey, yep!

18) Who in my community will I try to keep in touch with?
My chief and his whole family.

19) My community in 10 years?
I'd love to see Donou-dibi with electricity, a more secure source of clean drinking water and significantly more students passing their exams and women giving birth at the hospital.

20) Biggest change that occurred in me in 2 years?
What hasn't changed? I have lots more patience and better understanding of who I am. I'm also not as OCD plus I'm a lighter sleeper. But honestly I think it's going to take some time before I'll be able to even understand the changes in me.

21) What have I learned and don't want to forget?
The true definition of need versus want.

22) Who/what drove me to tears or drove me crazy?
Learning zarma and transportation issues.

23) Who/what bothered me in 1st 3 months and now not at all?
When everyone would call me "anasara" (white person).

24) Do I think that PC Niger has really made a difference? How?
I think the differences that have been made are a smaller scale and not necessarily x amount of women are giving birth in clinic but the relationships we form I think help Nigeriens understands themselves better as well as out culture. I think especially in this Muslim country when someone would say "we hate Americans" one of my villagers would say that they know an American that helped them and isn't the evil that often get portrayed abroad.


I am set to close-out my service on Sept 16 and will land back in the states on Sept. 18. As for now I will push into my next few weeks taking one day at a time and trying to hold onto each memory as they come.

Until America....

Still here!

Hello all! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year (better late than never right!). As apart of my New Year's resolution I'm going to make a more concentrated effort to update this blog and communicate with all of you at home. But before I look towards the future lets me tell you about the happenings in the past few months since my last post.

The Directors visit was a lot of fun. It was so good to see David Liner and friend of the family and Chief of Staff at PC Washington. To have any bit of home here is always refreshing. Ramadan came and went without too much fan fare. I did try fasting until about day 7 when I passed out. Apparently farming for 3 hours without drinking anything was not good for my body. But all is well now!

One of the highlights was Dadiji which a big party celebrating the chief. It happens once for every chief sorta like a coronation but usually after they've served for several years. Well it was a party indeed. There first was a vote, one going to each household, typically cast by the eldest man. And my dad was victorious! The way it worked was the voter took two pieces of paper (orange and green) and envelope into a room. You discarded the color you didn't want; green if you thought the chief deserved to stay in his position or orange if you were unhappy with his judgements and his command of the village. Only 6 people put in orange and 4 of them came up later to apologize saying they didn't understand how to vote. After that it was just lots of dancing, eating and general mayhem. There were about 700 extra people in my village for the party as well as a Zarma king (really you can't beat that!).

Tabaski was lots of fun this year. Again there was sheep killing but that's to be expected. I ate meat and only meat for about 3 days. It was also neat to see how far I had come from last year. I had friends and family that I hung out with all day. Gift were given and everyone kept reminding me that I wouldn't be there next year for Tabaski.

But without a doubt the best part of my year came at the very end with the arrival of my mom the Niger. Yes that's right Lynn Pharr put down her blackberry from well over 10 days. I'm also happy to report that she didn't check her email. Our original plan was for her arrival on Christmas morning but her flight out of NYC was grounded so she didn't arrive until the 26 but I just held off my celebration until she arrived. And then we hit the ground running with Giraffes visits to the market and getting to my village with LOTS of luggage. She loved my village except the RAT.... and now for a story....

So it was 11:30pm New Year's Eve. I was already fast asleep and my mom wakes me.
Mom: Sarah there is something in here.
Me: ~Groggy waking up from sleep noises~
Mom: No really there is something, you need to get it
Me: Ok, fine. ~Grabs fulan stick and begin to search for 'thing'~
Me: AAAaaaaaaaHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh OH MY GOD IT'S SO BIG! (See's tail of rat and jumps onto chair)
Now I've been known to dramatize things but when I saw large I mean bigger than my cat! It's tail was so long I couldn't fit it in the frame. After repeated beating with the stick it moved further into my house.
Me: Ok we need to remain calm, It's SOOO BIG! DIE RAT! DDIIEE!!!
Mom: Kill it Sarah! Kill it!
Me: Hold on I need to take pictures. (Grabs her camera to photograph said GIGANTIC RAT while perched on her kitchen counter)
Mom: Kill it Sarah! What are you doing taking pictures? Kill it! Throw something at it.
Me: OK! RUN RAT! RUN! (Throws spices- Curry powder, McCormick mesquite, Emeril Italian Sensation!)
~Rat runs out of the hut~ And I close the door really fast
Me: Hey mom... Happy New Year!!!

And then we stayed up for 3 hours laughing. And that's how I rang in my New Year. For the rest of my mom's visit we focused on keeping the rat out. And keeping her healthy. Both were successful. She left just a few days ago and now we're counting down the days until I come home.

But that isn't too far off. My COS (Close of Service) conference is in June and I've already started looking into job possibilities in the states, mostly in DC. But as of right now I'm scheduled to be home at the end of Sept. and that is mind blowing in itself. My time in Niger has gone by incredibly fast and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon.

I'll blog when I can. Take care and have a great 2008!

New season, Busy season

Sorry I haven't written since July but August kept me on my feet and in & out of my village a lot!

The highlight was Rachel Adam's visit. The 9 short days felt more like minutes than a little over a week. Upon her arrival I thoroughly exhausted her with more stuff the 1st day than I accomplish in a week and less than 24 hours into country we were already back in my village. I had been talking about her visit for a while so my villagers were pretty excited. We were able to see about 20 giraffes, she watched me get muddy and see what really happens to my hut during rainy season, met all my closest girl friends (PCVs), and went to a wedding (dancing was sadly canceled by rain). I'm happy to report that she escaped without getting sick... I however was not so luckily (story of my life). We met up with a friend from Camp Lurecrest, Carlos Sanchez, who in one of the craziest coincidences is also living in Niger. I loved every second of having her here. Someone to understand me for who I really am. And why bush taxis and being dirty ALL the time is a slightly bigger deal for me. Plus she had the opportunity to see the place I have fallen in love with.

She left and shortly after I had a demyster. That's when a trainee comes to stay with a PCV to see how "we" live. There is another North Carolinian (Katherine) and we actually went to the same church in Wilmington, small world. Elizabeth & she seemed to enjoy themselves and are both new members of Team Dosso.

Currently I'm back up at the training site helping out where I'm needed. And answering lots & lots of questions. For the weekend break Michelle, my other education stagemate went to a friends village, Kevin. It was gorgeous and great escape from the bush. He has a huge messa that we hiked around for a few hours and then his villagers killed 2 chickens for lunch (read:REALLY expensive). The trip was exhausting but lots of fun. Now I'm back in Nimaey for the next 2 days visiting various NGO's with the trainees, Hellen Kellar Int'l, various organizations of the UN, and some that are specific to Niger.

The 45th Anniversary of uninterrupted service in Niger will also be marked by the swear-in of this training group, Sept. 25. So lots going on here. David Liner a friend of the family and a "big-cheese" at PC Washington will be in the festivities as well as the director of Peace Corps Worldwide is coming to my village. So lots of reasons to be happy and busy. Not to mention my 23rd birthday in just 16 days (Sept 19)!!! But I must say I'll be happy when October finally gets here and I'll be able to spend some serious time in my village as well as get work done. Then just waiting it out until my mom arrives on Christmas Eve... that day can't come soon enough.

Love you all!!!

1 year ago...

One year ago...
I was full of nerves to come to Niger.
I was staring at my unpacked luggage thinking at in minute it will just pack itself
I was saying yet another teary good-bye
I was standing on the beach in Nags Head wondering if I would forget what the beach was like
I was eating as much American food as possible
I was saying "It's whatever I'm going to Africa" every other minute

Now I look back on those times with a sigh of relief. I am home at least for the time being in Niger. In the fastest year of my life I have seen more, experienced more and learned more that I feel I may ever be able to convey or explain. Yet so much has happened, I'm fluent in another language, albeit zarma but still an accomplishment none the less. I've lived in the hottest a poorest country for every one of it's seasons- and lived to tell the tail. I've pulled water from a well with some of the fiercest women in the world, I've helped nurse back babies on the brink of death, and I've dance to the high heavens in my village... the simple fact that "I" have a village to call my own is a HUGE difference from July 2006.

And so now I have been selected to be a permanent PCV for the newest batch of volunteers. Basically they feel I'd be a good example to the trainees. I'll answer their endless questions, some of which will be identical to mine- the ones that we all laughed that we even asked. They'll think I'm the "cool kid" because I'm a volunteer. The same way I looked up to our volunteers with their fluent Hausa or Zarma thinking I'll never be there. And so here I am, along with 9 other people from my training group. Heading back to Hamdy (our training site) and the airport for thier arrival. A lot of us keep talking about how we feel so old, experienced, a little jaded and certainly rough around the edges.

I'm personally taking the time to reflect. Some are filling out applications for grad schools, we're all talking about out post-PC plans and they are in legitimate reach, we're all signing up for the GRE most opting for the Feb 2 date (me included). I know the second year will fly by even faster as all of the volunteers currently boarding flights back home have reassured me. But part of me still feels so unaccomplished. Like I really haven't given anything back to my community. But there are plans. Plans to bring a grain grinder to my village, a recently approved grant to paint the world map in my school, and some project with the hospital.

Most exciting of all is Rachel Adams is coming visit in 11 days- Aug 1-10. I've been slightly busy with a patch of sickness and now with preparing for the next stage but her visit is just what I need right now. I can't afford vacation so why not bring the vacation to me! She's bringing a suitcase full of American goodies so I'm thrilled to say the least.

Well I'll be in and out if Niamey until the send of September with Rachel's visit and helping out with this stage. Also the 45th Anniversary of Peace Corps Niger is at the end of September and the director of Peace Corps is scheduled to come to my village. Slightly nerve racking.

All my best,
Sarahtou Donou-dibi

Shorts, Pork and Hugging guys

Well a title like that it can only mean one thing: THE REPUBLIC OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

For those of you who didn't know I made a short jammed packed appaearance on that side of the Atlantic. I was in the states May 4-26. The reason for my visit was my Grandparents 50th anniversary and my presence was a complete surprise to them. Probably my best memory is hearing my Papa in his southern accent say "Well I declare" and then Grandma "Oh my word". They are easily two of my favorite people in the entire world and I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else. Without them and their influence in my life I wouldn't be half the young woman I am today. So kudos to you.... love you both and congrats on the big 5-0!!!

Most of my time was spent with my mom and you know that can only mean trouble. We're the same old same old...picking up right where we left off. I was greeted with 2 dozen pink roses at the airport and sent away with freshly polished toes and nails. We shagged whenever my mom would finally give into my pleading. I'm sure the man that lives under us is glad that the beach music has finally stopped. We shopped until we just couldn't take it anymore...and then we shopped for Wyatt. I also had the lovely opportunity to guiniley freak out the people who work at United Way of America. They just kept staring at us both and saying "oh my gosh there is two of them". HEY Melissa & Will!

Speaking of other family I'm happy to report that Wyatt can now run, say Fofo and has a healthy love of farm animals & the outdoors. At one point in Arkansas I called Amina and was obviously speaking in zarma and he flipped out. Jumping up and down and running around the room. I guess someone finally speaks his language. If that gives you an idea of what zarma sounds like... my toddler nephew loves it! Nate as always is still beating me up and thinking he's a cowboy, sweet Jesus when will it ever stop? Uncle Rod still dreams of times when we're in the same room and I'm not hugging him... you know I'm your favorite niece!!!

And no visit home is complete without friends. While mom was on a field trip to Pittsburg with UWoA I made a short visit to Lynchburg, Charlotte and Raliegh. I mostly ran from one friend to another sometimes only spending 2 hours with them but we made it count. I was also able to give a presentation to the entire 8th grade and Tyler Finley's class in Lyncburg. The kids had good questions most notable "Do you like Africa better or America?"... I handled it like a politician and threw in a healthy dose of partial truth to my answer.

My vacation was topped off with a trip to the Outer Banks to spoil Wyatt just a little bit more. And those last few days were the only time I can recall relaxing. But it will be my only trip home during my 2 years here and I can't thank my mom enough for financing said trip.

I wish I had more to say about how the states was different but it was honestly all too much to take in. I nearly cried in the vegetable section at the grocery store. I stopped saying "I feel so clean" at about the same time I was able to sleep a full night indoors...around day 4. I ate everything on my plate because I felt guilty about throwing food away. I can say that it was nice to blend in. Nobody screamed "white girl" to get my attention but at the same time nobody would really look me in the eye on the street. I think once I have some time to mentally process my vacation I'll get back to ya.

I 'm not going to write about any exciting stories... because quite frankly there are too many. Well they may not be exciting to you. So let my express my vacation in numbers:
5...pairs of shoes purchased
4...skirts/dresses purchased
0...days I wore something past my knee caps
6...average # of times I said "Because I can" after following some action like bathing
2... hours spent with Cameron, Ashley C and Sarah Price (sorry you all got the short end of the stick)
3... minutes I would let pass before hugging whoever was in close proximity to me (IN PUBLIC)
1...estimated of number of pigs I consumed
6>lbs<10... class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">pumpkin pie and Grandma's cookin'
10...# of flights to get there/during/return
+60... hours I spent traveling in the past 3 weeks
2...# of flights missed (US Airways is off my Christmas list)
22...vacation days used
1...vacation days earned (from the presentation)
90... degrees when I landed at 2am! (this is my reality)
6... inches cut off my hair
2...new pierced ears!
2...pedicures & manicures
1...injuries sustained...broken toe (don't ask)
3...times I cried (I can barely believe it myself)
<100... class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Ipod
3...new books purchased (GRE Study Guide, Anne Lammont, 9/11 commission report)
14...months left in Niger


3...people waiting in line to use this computer *sigh*

You woke me therefore I will kill you.

Hello family and friends! Life still keeps moving along at an almost too fast pace over in my little space of the globe. Heat season is all together debilitating. It's amazing a) how much one human can sweat [eeww] b) how doing in the smallest tasks like writing a letter will leave me exhausted. Other PCVs warned of this but being well me I assumed I would be above all this hot season madness. I mean hello I'm from eastern NC I know a thing or two about heat but dry heat and this much is crazy different. Ok enough complaining.

My work with the babies is coming along nicely. I convinced another woman to take her son to the local hospital and he is on his way to a "healthy" (by Nigerien standards) weight. My biggest projects will have to wait until the arrival of rainy season when I can actually function.

I had the opportunity to go to Moloud which is the celebration of Mohammed's' birthday. Kiota is like the Mecca is West Africa so for every Muslim holiday my world sorta gets invaded but especially on this holiday. My village is on the road that leads to Kiota, about 30 k (18 miles) south. So for about 3 weeks prior somewhere near 20,000 extra people from Niger, Burkina, Senegal, Ghana, Libya, Nigeria flooded the small city where Michelle (fellow stagemate) is posted as an education volunteer. So me and 10 other white folks all headed up to check it out. It was quite a site to see. Nobody goes to sleep. Everyone prays or reads the Koran through the entire night. I fell asleep to literally 1,ooo's of people chanting and beating to their chests. Thanking their god and asking him to bring them through the next year.

Ok and now for a story. So there I was in my peaceful slumber in my little "petit america" wearing shorts- my usual sleeping attire. But on this Passover morning I was being yelled at. Ok I can't really speak English when I wake up out of a deep sleep, much less french and definitely NOT zarma. So I walk over toward Amina and I keep telling her to repeat whatever she's saying cause I don't understand. Our concessions are next to each other and just a millet stalk fence separates us. So I walk towards our common fence and she gets more hysterical. The problem here is that the word for snake is really similar to the word for stomach. So she would yell "Sarah don't come snake!" and in my groggy states I would yell back "No my stomach is ok now I took medicine". I had just started meds the day before for bacteria. She then uses the word for snake in french, serpent, hoping maybe the other language would help me to realize what she was talking about. Finally as I get closer to the fence I see that in fact there is a snake coming through pretty much right at my foot. I have this light bulb in my head moment and then run. Well you know me... I'm a fan of killing things. Especially things that wake me up. So I put on a skirt and by this time my older brothers had been called. Ya know to come rescue Amina & I the poor single girls (22 and no husbands yet what ever will we do?) So Alpha asks me if I want to kill it. Really is this even a question... the other men protested saying is wasn't a girls place. But after said snake lunged at me twice I was determined to end it's life myself. And so I did at 6 am while screaming in zarma "You woke me up therefore I will kill you". My brothers got a good laugh out of all of it. Only many hours later did I find out said snake was poisonous, it's ok I'm a PCV I can do anything! News spread like wildfire and by the end of the day I was being greeted on my effort for killing the snake, and even brought food as a blessing. My dad was rather impressed and some of my friends didn't believe me until they saw pictures (photos to come soon). So there is one africa-tastic story for the books.

Without a doubt the least exciting news since my last post is the departure of Amina. She's a teacher and in Niger you get placed in villages, and you really have no say over where you do. Well for some unknown reason the director of schools in my region decided to move her with only 2 more months left in the school year. For the 2 weeks leading up to her departure me, my villagers and nearly every useful person tried to stop the move but out efforts failed at last. She took over to her new village this past Thursday. I left in the morning because I had cried a lot already and I knew her send off would be full of my villagers who don't understand nor accept when an adult cries in public. She's only 12k away but she was easily one of my closest friends in Niger. She helped me in SO many ways with language, understanding Nigerien culture, listening to my boy problems or my homesick ramblings. I will still see her but it won't be the same. With patience all things will pan out I guess.

~Kala Hanfo~Until another day~